an ant looking up to the sky.

sometimes, there are days i feel like an ant!

WHOA! thats a surprise (some of you may think)

but yes, i do feel like an ant.

so weighed down by food (problems, in my case)

yet sitll carrying them and walking walking.

sometimes, getting trampled.

but i will still stand strong.

you can say all you want to spite me.

i dont deny it affects me.

but at the end of the day, God will convict me.

you've said its gonna be tough, telling me stuff im not keen to hear.

its like you're trying to get back at me.

to attempt to bring me down.

but i have my God, i have my shelter and my fortress.

tell me wad do you have.?

i don't want to sound ugly and mean

but the truth is you have nothing.

thats the reason why you're feeling so empty and lost

so angry and you cannot believe that this is happening to you.

so shocked and surprise that i can stand on my feet so fast.

so upset that you cannot do things that you want to do.

it doesn't matter to me, even if i do get pissed at times.

but at the end of the day,

you gotta face it.

its your loss. not mine.

long post. dont even read if you dont care.

how do i know which mood am i in.?

dont know how i feel.

cannot tell my emotions.

think its going haywire soon.

how am i going to study for MST in this state.?

am i tired, yes.

tired of what, dont know, cant express myself.

it used to be so easy expressing myself.

but now, things aren't so easy anymore.

frustrations, roll in.

problems, they dont roll out.!

solution, God.

working, yes.

but still, its my own barrier.

PS: you know wad, shit you. (please ignore that word, HAHA)

PPS: posted at 12.30am

ive thought it through.

the thing is, if this is what it's gonna take to make me learn.

i pray that i have the heart, soul, mind and power to take it.

the fact is, God will never give me something that i cannot overcome!

stay strong. be strong. mella.

stop focusing on how much you've sacrificed.!

look forward to what you can learnt.

true that ppl dont know you intially did this for them.

true that others dont know what you've sacrificed.

true that they dont seem to appreciate you for it.

some might even deem you foolish.?

but then again, who are they to judge.?

if it's not worth it, then leave it.

change for yourself, for God, for your family and for ppl who really care.

ultimately, at the end of the day

what matters is

what God thinks of me and what i've done.

as they read this post,

they may think, what she's saying is just for self-comfort, self-assurance.

but you know what.?

at least i have comfort and assurance in the right source.

so who are you to criticise me and laugh.?

i dont wanna be affected by what is said and done anymore.

you chose your way, i chose mine.

if this is how you wanna behave, dont ever look back and say

"Man, I miss her"

cos you know why.?

you've got your chance.

and that's that.

you never know that what you say might hurt others.




ever heard of stick and stones shall break my bones
but words will never hurt me.?
thats the biggest bullshit i've ever heard.




one word can destroy you for who you are.
one word can make you lose your everything.
one word.





are your lips speaking of truth today.?
are you lips bringing forth peace and joy to people.?





i use to be very blunt.
not that i am not now.
but i am trying to be better.
i am still straightforward.
but i am learning to be tactful.
but sometimes, i really just CANNOT take it.
i will just tell you off.
but i hope you know that its meant for your own good.
whether if you like it anot.



i do give chances.
its just that you dont appreciate it.
furthermore, im not stingy with my praises.

good night.

taken from deviantart.

all roads lead to nowhere.

if the path you had to choose

formed one straight line.

so lucky for you.

but what if you reach a junction.?

how will you choose.?

how do you know which to follow.?

your mind or your heart.?

they always say

follow your heart.

yes, follow your heart,

you'll have no regrets

but how can you be sure it is a right choice.?

datasheets. homework.

homework. datasheets.

i need to plan more time for God.!

stop procrastinating MELISSA GOH.!

post again later.

had a fun day in church yesterday

and a fun day in zoo today.

thank you my lovely cell members for the spongebob water botttle.!

and the cheers, cards, chocolates, wishes etc.

really appreciate it.

thank you shu, siang and johnny for the fun today.

for the ben and jerry's ice cream and the shirt.!

thank you jeremy, aunty sharon and uncle david

for the red packet, ben and jerry's ice cream and frog key chain.

thank you uncle danny and aunty ros

for the necklace.

thank you uncle raymond for the treat.

so many ppl to thank.

if i leave you out, please dont mistaken k.?

im still very thankful. :D

time passes in a flash,

i'm already 19.

haaas. wad to do when i'm 20 next year.

shrugs shoulders.

shall retreat for the day.

too tired.

your silence gave me an answer.

decisions.

why make decisions in life.?

decisions means

the act of making up your mind about something

does it hurt.?

OF COURSE LAHHS.

does it have times when it doesn't hurt.

LIKE DUHH.

but that doesn't mean that hurtful decisions are not beneficial.

every decision, every step you choose to take.

put your heart to it.

dont look back and dont regret.

that is how you ENJOY the decision you've made.

i've made big decisions, small decisions, easy desicions and difficult desicions

through my 18 years of life.

nope, im not getting emo or anything.

its just that i realised,

this decisions that i made, i may have hurt others in the process

but i wanna let this people know that,

i am also hurt for the decision i choose to make.

so trust me, if i ever hurt you because of my decision,

this shows you that

1. you're close enough to me

2. you care

3. I WAS HURT TOO cos i care

so please dont ever think that im a empty vessel making dumb decisions.

i dont and honestly,

i hate making decisions.

PS: what decision have i made today that trigger me to write this post.?

NONE.! its seriously just a train of thought that i decided to post. :]